Catholic Social Ministries of the Diocese of Raleigh

Contact: Frank Morock (919)821-9732

When people, especially children attempt to cope with such disastrous news as we are hearing today, it is important to keep some basic principles in mind when deciding how to best help a child cope with this news without becoming overly anxious or traumatized.

Such news threatens our basic sense of safety and security and thus anything that we can do to instill a sense of security is important. Giving a child something to do that gives them a sense of control or power over the event is helpful, such as writing a letter of support to the president, writing prayers and putting them on an altar, etc.

Give children a chance to talk about the event and their feelings about it. Acknowledge their fears and tell them that this is a scary event, but reassure them that they are safe and that the school and parents are doing everything they can to insure the child’s safety. Talk about all of the things that you do to insure their safety, like keeping doors locked, having someone greet everyone who walks in the school, etc. For younger children, have them draw pictures that express their thoughts and feelings about the event. Being able to talk about the event gives a child a sense of control over the event. Acknowledging their fears while still reassuring them, lets them know that it is normal to be frightened by such an event. All of us are thinking, could this happen here and that is the question children will need answered.

Limit your child’s exposure to television reports. Watching the Trade Towers collapse on replays and watching traumatized people at the scene of the disaster will traumatize a child, especially younger children who have no intellectual context for what they are seeing.

Pray together as a family and a school for the victims, for President Bush, for our world leaders, and for peace. Create a ritual such as lighting a candle and placing prayers on the table with a candle and a Bible.

Tune into your children and pay particular attention to any abnormal behaviors and ask them to talk about what they are feeling if their behaviors indicate they may be upset. Ask them if they are concerned about anything happening to them or a family member and give them any reassurance that is realistic.

Stay calm and in control. Demystify the event and give them the facts that you know without embellishing them. Put the event in a context that a child can understand.

Pay particular attention to your child at bedtime and make sure that they are reassured about their safety if they are indicating such a need. Say bedtime prayers, read stories, sing songs, etc.

Anticipate problems with separation from family and make sure children know how to get in touch with parents.

When adults talk about this, be aware that children are listening. Do not spread unconfirmed reports about what happened or may be happening.

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